So, what do I mean by State Time and Family Time? Simply stated, while my family was on State Time, our time and what we did with our time was dictated, and most often times wasted, by the state and its requirements. Meanwhile on Family Time, what we do with our time is controlled by decisions that my husband and I make in regard to what is important for our family and for each one of our children’s individual needs. When I first started gathering my thoughts for this post, I thought that I would begin at the point when we first realized that Common Core was affecting our children. However, I quickly realized that it started much sooner than that for me. In fact, it began when I was a little girl. My family, a family of five in which I was the youngest, was very close. We moved throughout the country while I was growing up and my brother, sister and I continually had to get use to new schools in different states |
with different friends in different environments. Our world changed constantly but through all the change our family remained constant and that is the important part. The family was the nucleus of our great big world. I was blessed to have a family that always put Family Time first and it was my parents who had the single greatest influence on me. In fact, I firmly believe that their influences as I was growing up guide me in the decisions I make today for my own family. And so it should be.
Which is why I believe that my journey began there. Through Family Time, or lack there of, parents form their children into the people they are as adults. In today’s society, people have lost track of how important Family Time is. Our schedules are so tight and so driven by what the Jones’ are doing that we do not stop to think about the fact that the Jones’ are just trying to keep up with us.
Which is why I believe that my journey began there. Through Family Time, or lack there of, parents form their children into the people they are as adults. In today’s society, people have lost track of how important Family Time is. Our schedules are so tight and so driven by what the Jones’ are doing that we do not stop to think about the fact that the Jones’ are just trying to keep up with us.
Our schedules are so tight and so driven by what the Jones’ are doing that we do not stop to think about the fact that the Jones’ are just trying to keep up with us.
However I digress, for now let’s go back to the childhood that molded me. In spite of what society leads us to believe today, even though we moved from school to school across the country, all three kids in my family were successful and went on to college. In fact, two of us even went on to obtain Master degrees, I being one of them. Upon graduation, I was young and ready to conquer the world. I was ready to start my career, to be that executive woman I knew I wanted to be! And that is what I did with the full support of this great big world…and of course my family. My mother always said, “follow your heart, Amy; you must follow your heart.” And so I did.
For 10 years, I built a very successful, rewarding career. I worked long, hard hours and I honestly believe I made a difference. Then in 2003, my husband and I chose to have children. For the first time, society and my heart were telling me two different things. Society was telling me that my career should take center stage. I was a woman who had made it in a man’s world, how could I set that aside? On the other hand, my heart looked back on the Family Time of my youth and knew that that was what I wanted for my children. If you don’t think that Family Time is important, let me just tell you that it was the Family Time in my early life that made me strong enough to stand up to the peer pressure of this world and “follow my heart”. With that said, I stayed home and chose Family Time for my children.
But then, in stepped State Time. As our children grew, the state told us it was time to give our children their ‘education’. It was time for my husband and I to decide where our first child would go to school. We both felt that the public system was appropriate as we were both successful products of the public school system. We always thought that the school would properly educate our children on the innate facts and that our time outside of school would allow us to frame our children into God loving, well-rounded adults.
Or so we thought. Have any of you every kept a schedule like this?
For 10 years, I built a very successful, rewarding career. I worked long, hard hours and I honestly believe I made a difference. Then in 2003, my husband and I chose to have children. For the first time, society and my heart were telling me two different things. Society was telling me that my career should take center stage. I was a woman who had made it in a man’s world, how could I set that aside? On the other hand, my heart looked back on the Family Time of my youth and knew that that was what I wanted for my children. If you don’t think that Family Time is important, let me just tell you that it was the Family Time in my early life that made me strong enough to stand up to the peer pressure of this world and “follow my heart”. With that said, I stayed home and chose Family Time for my children.
But then, in stepped State Time. As our children grew, the state told us it was time to give our children their ‘education’. It was time for my husband and I to decide where our first child would go to school. We both felt that the public system was appropriate as we were both successful products of the public school system. We always thought that the school would properly educate our children on the innate facts and that our time outside of school would allow us to frame our children into God loving, well-rounded adults.
Or so we thought. Have any of you every kept a schedule like this?
It looks a bit chaotic, doesn’t it? It was and it only got worse as more of my children entered into the system.
These are the items that most stood out:
These are the items that most stood out:
- First and foremost, I had to rush my kids to bed every night because they had to wake up by an alarm at 6:30 every morning.
- You’ll notice that I put volunteer time on the schedule. I found that if I wanted to spend time with my kids at school, it was generally volunteering to help with something as mundane as preparing for a craft or a class party.
- If I really wanted to get involved, I had to join the PTA that only filled my time with busywork.
- That busywork also extended into my children’s lives as well as their work outside of school was more like busywork than helpful educational tools. Often times my son and I would both be in tears as we sat in front of his homework.
- After we would rush to get that homework done, we were off to the activities that we had chosen for our kids. At times it was gymnastics, a Church program, football, etc.
- Then it was home, eat, finish last minute homework, get ready for bed and by the way…hurry up and get to bed because you have to get up at the crack of dawn!
That was our life in the public school system. In addition to the crazy schedule and the time that our children were being asked to complete needless busywork that ate into our Family Time, we had a very large concern for the content of our children’s study in the public system and the Common Core State Standards Initiative. Therefore, the question for our family became, “Where do we go from here?”
We began by taking our children out of the public system and enrolling them into private school. And this is what we got…
We began by taking our children out of the public system and enrolling them into private school. And this is what we got…
Doesn't really look much better, huh? Again, here are some of the items that stand out:
- First and foremost, we still had to rush our kids to bed at night because they still had to get up at the crack of dawn (in fact now even earlier) by an alarm clock.
- You will note that since the private school was not in our neighborhood, the time inside the car was crazy. It was a ½ hour to take them, then a ½ hour for me to get back home. Then another ½ hour to go get them and a ½ hour to bring them home. That is 2 hours a day in the car!
- You will also note that they went from 6-1/4 hours of time in school to 7-1/4 hours of time in school. At first I was excited about the increase in school hours thinking they would be getting a better education but it quickly hit me how LONG they were away from their family when my son said to me on his first day of school, “Mom, I am going to be in school for 7 hours and 15 minutes today!” That is almost a full adult workday! He was 10 at the time, my daughter only 5.
- On top of that my son would come home with 1-1/2 to 2 hours of homework each night. Again, just busywork that frustrated me as much as it frustrated him.
- Finally, I thought we would have control over their curriculum but I soon learned that was not so. I spent so many hours trying to work with the administration to discuss troublesome curriculum that never got addressed. I could go on and on but that will have to wait for a different post!
Furthermore, after only one year, due to the nationalization of standardized tests and the fact that the tests were method-based, we found it painstakingly obvious that the Common Core State Standards Initiative greatly affected our children’s curriculum even in private school.
So, even though we indirectly chose those involved in our children’s lives, we still did not have much control. We still had a schedule that followed someone else’s timeframe, we still had curricula that followed someone else’s regulations, and we still had no control over our children’s time. Now let’s add the fact that we were paying extra to send our kids to a private school and it all became a bit overwhelming! Therefore, my husband and I started to research homeschooling, an option that had NEVER even entered either of our minds beforehand.
It did not take to long to come to a decision. With the firm support of my husband and my mother whispering to me from above, “follow your heart, Amy”, our family chose to homeschool.
So, even though we indirectly chose those involved in our children’s lives, we still did not have much control. We still had a schedule that followed someone else’s timeframe, we still had curricula that followed someone else’s regulations, and we still had no control over our children’s time. Now let’s add the fact that we were paying extra to send our kids to a private school and it all became a bit overwhelming! Therefore, my husband and I started to research homeschooling, an option that had NEVER even entered either of our minds beforehand.
It did not take to long to come to a decision. With the firm support of my husband and my mother whispering to me from above, “follow your heart, Amy”, our family chose to homeschool.
My mother always said, “follow your heart, Amy; you must follow your heart.”
And this is the schedule we have been blessed with...
- First and foremost, both mom and, more importantly, the kids wake up on their own.
- Our days are flexible – we no longer have the state defining when we must start school, when my children must be at their desks, when they must eat lunch, what they must eat for lunch, etc.
- You will see that we are able to finish our lessons in 3 to 3-1/2 hours! Keep in mind that it took the state 6-1/4 hours and the private school 7-1/4 hours to do the same (remind you of the Post Office or the DMV?)
- Most importantly, we have complete control over all curricula. Lessons are individualized. We slow down or speed up whenever the need arises.
- Our days are just as full with activities but they are not nearly as stressful because they are on our time.
- One would think that since my children are always with me, they would begin to think that they are the center of my universe when in fact quite the opposite has happened. Since they are with me most of the time, the kids go with me to do the chores of life. They now realize that there is more to complete in a day than just THEIR school & THEIR activities.
- We have family time! Our days and activities can fluctuate with my husband’s busy schedule. Remember, the kids do not have to wake up at a set time.
Check out the differences side by side in the influence we had on our children:
So, that is our journey from State Time to Family Time. It has been a long road but a road well worth taking. In just the first few months of homeschooling, I have noticed a marked difference in my children:
- My oldest son (5th grade) had been slowly pushing away from me. He now wakes up early in the morning to talk about his day and more importantly his dreams.
- My middle son, who had been struggling with his schoolwork, is now thriving, as I am able to push him on his strengths and bring him back to the basics on the things he is having trouble with. This not only built his foundation on an educational level, it built his self esteem back up.
- My children lose themselves in books that were not AR rated (i.e. chosen by others…yet another post to be written)!
- The kids listen to me with much more respect. I am their mom & their teacher. I am their norm, not just someone who has a three-hour window into their lives each day. I no longer hear, “I cannot do it that way; my teacher said to do it this way!” or “You are not my teacher, you’re just a MOM!”
I cannot tell a lie, there are some days that I, and the kids, look like this… But for the most part our family looks like this… |
I know that homeschooling is not for everyone; however, as a woman who had a very rewarding career prior to having children, I do not hesitate to tell you that my family’s choice for Family Time has been the best choice for us. Furthermore, being a full time mom, wife and teacher has been the BEST CAREER I have ever experienced!